Today I had the honor of being a part of a conference for storytellers in the church world. We got to meet one another, encourage, challenge, and learn together.
But at the end of a day spent with crowds of creatives—swapping stories, sharing best practices, laughing, and crying—all I want to do is pull on some comfy pants and crawl under the covers.
Being around people doesn’t come naturally to me, doesn’t energize me.
But it’s good for me.
It keeps me from crawling into a cave and never coming out. It reminds me that I’m not alone. It reminds me that I’m smarter than I give myself credit for and that I still have a lot left to learn.
I think we sometimes belief a myth around the natural, that if it doesn’t feel natural for us, we should avoid it. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. If it doesn’t feel good, bail. But if it comes naturally… well… it must be right. Do that! I sometimes use this mythologizing around natural to give myself permission to avoid what’s uncomfortable.
But just because something isn’t natural to us doesn’t mean it’s not good for us.
In fact, the opposite is more likely to be true. If it feels natural, it can very likely be destructive. The things that feel natural to me are laziness, avoidance, over-eating, and generally making things (read: everything) about me. Those are not behaviors that are actually good for me, nor do they benefit those around me. But, hey, they’re natural.
Today, neck deep in relationships and real talk, that was good for me even if I now feel like I’ve been hit by a truck (and then it backed over me for good measure).
It ain’t natural. But it’s good.
Lola says:
Nick,
I remember my first time at Willow Creek, and saw you shared your gift of storytelling and I was in awe. I received so much that service even before the sermon. As an African, storytelling is significant to us. We don’t have my history books, but we have stories about who we are.
Reading this, it is amazing how you are able to push through your fear and share your gifts. You make it look natural. I am making a change of job from a ministry to corporate world, which is scary to me. The self doubt is strong, but I am trusting God and choosing to fall forward.
Blessings to you and your family
Nick Benoit says:
Lola… hi.
What a huge and dramatic life change you’re undertaking. Have you ever heard of “imposter syndrome?” It’s the belief that we are not who we say we are, we’re not capable of doing what we’ve been entrusted with, we’re always one revelation away from being discovered as an imposter.
If you’re feeling any sense of that as you enter into this new calling, you’re not alone. It took me 30 years of art-making to call myself an artist, more than a decade of telling stories to realize I was a storyteller. Still today I sit in meetings or brainstorming sessions and my insecurities and anxieties tell me I’m to worthy to be in that room or this conversation or among these people.
But worthy and willing are not the same thing. We will always have something to learn, and we’ll rarely be the smartest person in the room. We may never feel worthy to be in the places God has called us into. But God has a habit of using the willing more than the worthy. If you’re willing to step into what he’s called you to… then you’re right where you should be.
I just said a prayer over you. May you have confidence in your calling and courage in where that calling leads you!
Thank you for your kind words.